Looking

I look for an escape daily. Light me up. Again. I want to keep myself alive. But… I’m drowning in your silence. Your disinterest. Where do I put all that I feel? What do I do with this mess? Me. You made a mess of me. Of us. I can’t. I can’t mend it. Or I don’t want to. Help me! I can soothe myself. I can’t fix this dying thing. This horrible mask of a marriage.